⚠️ New here? If you’d like…jump right to the research:
👉 [ The Bible as Story research project]
Otherwise, I invite you to wander Nibbling first… if you prefer.
Gravestones just like this one are plentiful in Nibbling. We are proud to tell it like it is!
Hey all you walking shadows, you poor players, strutting and fretting your hour upon the stage! Allow me to introduce you to the absolutely best place on the planet to expend your sound and fury–Nibbling, MN. We invite you to virtually join us idiots in the Beefy Nihilist capital of the world! Pull up a chair and wrap your heart around living in a world where we signify nothing, with gusto!
I’m Rosetta Butterball, CEO of the Nibbling, MN Chamber of Commerce. I love this place! And I trust you will too. We put this website together to support my husband Hector, in his quest to publish rather unusual, yet ultimately meaningless research evaluating the Christian story. (See The Bible as Story Research Project link above.)
In the research, Hector asks ultimately meaningless questions, like: Is the Christian story compelling? We leave it up to you to decide. No spoilers from this quarter!
If you wonder how someone like my brilliant husband agreed to do the research:
👉Here’s the story
Hector, presented his research to the Annual Convention of the Nihilist Lites of American (NLA), a pretty important cog in the wheel of this story, of which he is the founder.
The Convention was held right here in Nibbling, in Growlers Stadium in January of 2023, a week of bitterly cold days. Even my Beefy Nihilist buddies came in droves. I only wish you’d have bundled up and joined us, in our glowing spot, in the heart of the northern Midwest, where the winter never seems to let go!
However, thanks to the miracles (which don’t exist) of the internet, it’s not necessary! Because we Nibblers decided to make Hector’s research available to any curious passersby such as yourself, right in the comfort of your own dark closets. Here’s the link again, if you want to go right to the research. Enjoy!
But we hope you’ll pop around and get to know us Nibblers a little better too. We decided, for you strangers passing through , to include some ads from some local businesses and clubs (also to help support this website), and invited a few insignificant, significant Nibblers to introduce you our quiet little hovel, nestled in the flatlands of cold, stark Minnesota.
First I’ll introduce you to my husband and best friend–
👉Meet Hector Klumpp. (This is our love story, telling how we came together!)
He’ll introduce you to our local chapter (already mentioned above) of the–
👉Nihilist Lites of America, an absurd club which you should definitely avoid. He’s off track on that one, but oh! How I love that man!
To introduce the Nibbling Chamber of Commerce (NCC), you’ll meet Roger Teddsworthy, local businessman and owner of scores of Rental Services. He’ll tell you he is a brilliant businessman, and the evidence is everywhere you look in Nibbling. To give you a sense of Roger’s creativity, my husband, Hector Klumpp, once rented a Personal Flash Mob from him. A group of 20 dancers surprised me at random moments throughout my birthday week with choreographed performances of some of my favorite songs.
The top two?
How Roger found 20 dancers who so genuinely cried throughout each song, I’ll never know! But, oh! It tickled my soul! Ha, ha!
Roger will also introduce you to our wildly successful Nibbling County Community College (NCCC), where my husband Hector is the cornerstone professor of story.
You’ll also meet Logan Small, a local 9th grader, who won my essay contest to give you a glimpse into our school system here in Nibbling, of which we are very proud. His prize? No spoilers here, But I nailed that one!
You’ll also hear from me about our local Nibbling Society for Beefy Nihilism, of which I’m the President. We’ve been around since way before my time, though. Our local chapter was formed just after the Strange Uncharted Mountains appeared, north of nibbling, in 1871.
Speaking of the Strange Uncharted Mountains (S.U.M.), Hector’s best friend, Clifford Bean, will introduce you. If he invites you up into them, as he does so often, do it! It’s pricey, but worth it! Just a caution though (because Clifford won’t stop you)–don’t exit his bus while in the S.U.M! Many have, or wandered up without Clifford’s bus, and disappeared. Including Hector’s own father. Just so you know, the city of Nibbling is not liable, nor is Clifford and his magic bus. If you go up, you’re on your own, so buyer beware!
Diddly Squat, founder and tribe leader of our local Zilch Gang will also fill you in on the history of the Lower Minnesota Association of Fight Clubs, and our local chapter, Nibbling Fight Club, of which my husband Hector’s personal history is intimately intertwined. We are fiercely proud of our Fight Club and invite you to join the chaos of beautiful violence that transpires inside every fight cage (only as a spectator, of course, like me! Ha, ha!).
You’ll hear from Hector on a strange local club called The Freaks of Nibbling. I don’t think he did a very good job explaining, and he’ll pay for that. You might have to visit our annual Sticker Tape Parade to understand.
Speaking of the Sticker Tape Parade, my good friend Michelle, of Nibbling News Service will introduce you to that, as well as the annual Spring Grenade Festival which immediately follows the parade each year.
Speaking of Nibbling News Service (NNS), Michelle will tell of how my unassuming husband, around whom interest and controversy seems to swirl like a robust midwestern tornado, put NNS on the internet constellation map, with monthly traffic nearing 10M.
You’ll hear from Old Mother Mayeye, the only other business owner in Nibbling, besides Roger Tedsworthy. She has her Biscuit Delight Restaurant and famous Bed and Biscuit Motel in the heart of Main Street.
Actually, I misspoke. There is one other business owner:
(Nibbling, Minnesota) Jan Gingiva, owner of Jan’s Moving and Storage, Nibbling’s full service moving company, drives one of the company’s new Adhesive Vans. Even the seat belts are made from duct tape. Jan, who has suffered from two nervous breakdowns from stress related to vehicle failure in the Strange Uncharted Mountains outside Nibbling, says “Everything seems to be holding together very well, especially me.”
Jan’s Moving and Storage
Nibbling’s Full Service Moving Company
Since 1995!
We can help you be
here today, gone tomorrow!
Last I heard, my good friend Jan took a car full of eager explorers into the Strange Uncharted Mountains and hasn’t returned. May their weary souls find peace in nothing!
Finally, you’ll hear from the Old Mother’s husband, Old Oscar Mayeye. He owns a distillery in the foothills of the Strange Uncharted mountains, which he doesn’t claim as a business, since he gives away all his product, if you’re willing to join him at the distillery, imbibing warming spirits, as you gather around a warming fire, all the year through. This is the daily meeting place of the Society for the Jilted, of which he is the founder. He’s quite the storyteller, as my husband Hector will tell you. So, be aware and don’t believe everything everyone tells you.
There’s your little virtual introduction to our lively little town. Linger awhile. Think a bit. Then forget about it. As some have said–Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!
😉P.S. If Nibbling, MN and all these colorful characters confuse you, I’ve been told a visit here may clear the fog.
Welcome to Nibbling 